Not a soccer mom

I harbour a secret desire to strut about in a pair of cowboy boots so maybe it was fated that I would attend a rodeo.

My friend Tina, who lives in London, England but whose heart is in Austin, Texas, loves the rodeo (and owns both the hat and the boots) so I am thrilled I can finally report to her that I now know what it’s all about.

This is a world where the men are men and the rodeo royalty are real women with flowing locks. They wear jeans and ruffled satin shirts and really know how to ride a horse and how to round up cattle. (Truckee may be barely 4 hours from San Francisco but there’s no confusing what a queen means there…)

The show started with toddlers “riding” sheep. It was hilarious. They were followed by a guy on a tractor who spent a considerable amount of time grooming the dirt field accompanied by “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy” (by Kenny Chesney I have since learned).

It’s a classic. Here’s a taster:

Plowing these fields in the hot summer sun
Over by the gate lordy here she comes
With a basket full of chicken and a big cold jug of sweet tea
I make a little room and she climbs on up
Open up a throttle and stir a little dust
Just look at her face she ain’t a foolin me

She thinks my tractor’s sexy
It really turns her on
She’s always staring at me
While I’m chuggin along
She likes the way it’s pullin’ while we’re tillin’ up the land
She’s even kind of crazy ’bout my farmer’s tan
She’s the only one who really understands what gets me
She thinks my tractor’s sexy

Then the saddle-bound compere introduced the young riders of the local equestrian club. “Kids, remember,” he said after their little performance. “Stay off the drugs and alcohol and get on your horse.” Then he introduced the rodeo’s sponsors, led by the “wonderful Coors Light beer”.

There was a poignant interlude when “Old Glory” was ridden at full gallop around the arena. The song that kept company with the Stars and Stripes included a line that went something like, “If you give our country any trouble we’ll kick your asses.” Rousing stuff.

Calves were roped in and bound in seconds flat, the bucking broncos gave the cowboys a ride to remember and it was a genuinely great experience. A whole culture discovered.

Must get those boots.